Two weeks ago I discovered that I didn't know where my new pair of shorts were. I thought it was odd, didn't really think much of it because I figured they'd turn up. After all, how does one lose a pair of shorts? It's not like I have so many items of clothing that I lose track. Most people "lose" their keys, their phone, their glasses, or everyday items that they've simply misplaced and find eventually. There aren't even that many places a pair of shorts can go. So after not finding them, I gave up, again figuring they'd turn up sometime.
It was time to start thinking about going back to school/work, so I went on with life. I lose things all the time in my classroom. Again, there are only so many places thing can go, but still, I lose something on a daily basis. Each year before school starts, teachers must spend time in their classrooms dismantling the pile of furniture, instructional materials, and the plethora of educational materials that were heaped on top so the carpets can get cleaned and the floors waxed. Book shelves must be hefted into place and books unpacked and placed in the proper spot. Desks and tables must be placed around the room with traffic patterns in mind. The reading corner complete with a cute rug, cushions, stuffed animals, and of course, books, is set up. Cabinets are re-organized and whatever I don't want anymore, gets put into the "up for grabs" pile. My own desk and work station must feel put together or else I can't even begin to think about planning and preparing lessons....and I try really hard not to make my CPU fall off my desk and crash to the floor. It's Always Something.
After 17 years of teaching, I can put a classroom together (mostly) in a 6.75 hours long day, mostly because I know where my stuff needs to go. That's just the beginning, though. Once the physical stuff is where I want it, educational posters and learning aides need to go up on the walls, but can't cover more than 25% of the wall space per the fire marshall (anyone ever heard of a literacy-rich environment?). It's Always Something.
And speaking of bookshelves. When the furniture got moved the little pegs that hold up the shelves fell out of their holes, which of course, I couldn't find anywhere. I had two and needed two. I searched some drawers and gave up, and put it on the list of more stuff to buy. It was bugging me that I couldn't get this particular task done until I had the pegs, so I went to Main St. to the hardware store to get some. After circling Main St. several times for a spot to park, I finally got one. A very nice helpful man climbed a ladder to get a package of pegs for me and I proceeded to check out. In front of me was a woman and an employee hunched over a receipt, puzzled. They continued on in their confused state for 5 minutes when all I wanted was to pay and leave. She finally turned to me and asked, "Are you buying those?" I clamped my sarcastic mouth shut and smiled. When I finally returned, I ripped open the package gleefully in anticipation of getting this job off my back only to find the pegs were too big for the holes. It's Always Something.
I had started to lose my mind over the Missing Shorts. I looked everywhere in the house...the dirty clothes basket, the towels basket, the washer, dryer, the closets, under the bed, on the floor, in luggage, even in the freezer, everywhere! Still no shorts.
Last year I had a student teacher. While she did her thing, I spent the time organizing my file cabinets and threw so much away I had more space to put more stuff! There was room for teacher books IN the file cabinet, so I put a lot of books away in there so I'd find them easier. When I went to get my Positive Action (character ed.) teacher's manual yesterday, I couldn't find it in the usual place and didn't remember seeing it when I was putting the room together. Evil thoughts entered my mind, "Someone came in here and stole my PA manual" (yeah, right). As my frustration grew, I decided to put an email out to ALL Sierra Teachers reading, "I'm missing my Positive Action TM. It's a black spiral bound book and I use it all the time. If you find it, it's mine!" Not 3 seconds later I turned my head and looked at the file cabinet drawer, thought, "oh....$hit," opened it, and there it was, right in front. I went right back to email and apologized for being a spaz. I'm so organized, I don't know where anything is. It's Always Something.
So, my car hadn't been washed all summer long and was covered in bird poop and dead bugs. I backed it out of the garage and my husband and I went to work. When it was time to dry, I entered the garage to get some towels and wondered what that blob on the floor was. Can you guess?
As Gilda Radnor said in her many hilarious circa 1970's SNL skits, "It's alwaaaaaays suumetheeeng...." It truly is, as a teacher especially. Whether the obstacle is minor, like a shelf peg, or major, like unfunded mandates, obstacles are obstacles and to the person they're getting in the way of, any size can seem daunting. The next time I am frustrated by the minutia of life, I will try to take a breath, analyze the situation objectively, and make a rational plan of action.
The first day of school is the day after tomorrow! I sure hope I thought of everything.
Oh, crap! Where's my other shoe?!
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