Germ Factories

It occurred to me how much time we all spend getting rid of germs.  Here's what went through my mind...

...filthy hands, filthy tables, filthy chairs, doorknobs, drinking fountains, pencils, crayons, toys, and manipulatives, playground balls, jumpropes, swing chain, play structure, sandbox, and whatever bugs and other critters kids are curious about (how many kids have come up to you holding a worm? "Look, Teacher!").  Our doors should have a warning sign that says, "Enter at your own risk" or "Beware of Bacteria."

I must go through a gallon or more of hand sanitizer every year.  Just squirt that stuff right into a child's brown hand after he comes in from playing in the sandbox or playing handball.  At least the germs are killed, I think to myself, because I can't have 22 kids at the sink actually washing their hands with soap and water.  I've done it before, I don't recommend.

The Clorox wipe people should pay me some sort of kickback.  We go through a big container once a month or so on cleaning the filthy tables.  It's a good thing I have terrific room parents who donate the stuff.  How do tables get that filthy, you wonder?  Imagine this:  a child arrives on the first day of school (clean) and finds her desk (also clean).  She colors a picture and perhaps is told to cut something and use her glue stick.  She kindly follows directions, but accidentally gets some glue stick on the table.  No big deal.  Ah, but that's only the beginning...after one day of use and 2 recesses later, the glue-stick-covered table has become a magnet for dirt.  Suddenly, everything that comes in contact with that table sticks to it so that there is now a concoction of glue/dirt from dirty hands/germs/crayon and marker all over it.

I teach numerous lessons on personal hygiene.  Since I don't want to be coughed or sneezed on and thus, get sick, I spend probably a good hour or two (when you add up a 10 minute lesson here and there) on how to cough/sneeze (into your elbow), blow your nose (by actually blowing into the tissue, not rolling the tissue into a spike to stick up your nose so you can see your snot as you pull it out), and how to wash your hands with soap and dry them off (not shake and drip dry so everything in your path gets wet).  Oh, and don't forget the lessons on how to use the drinking fountain (didn't your mother teach you not to put your mouth ON the nozzle?).  Mine did and I obeyed.  Kids today...(sigh).

It's March, I figure we made it through flu season, and the kids who are still sick are in the last stages and will be well soon.  They're not contagious and my immune system is strong!  I haven't been sick all year and haven't been for a good 3 years running.  By "sick" I mean so sick that I have to use a sick day on actually being sick.  Then it happened.  I was directly in the line of fire when a kid coughed directly in my face.  He put his little elbow up but his aim was lacking and he over shot.  Instead of all his germs landing safely in his jacket sleeve, they flew above it and joyously invaded my eyes, nose, and mouth.  I imagined a microscopic army not believing their good luck and going to work invading my healthy tissue, Jackpot!.  This was on a Monday.

About 5 days went by and I felt fine.  I thought, "Wooohoooo!  I beat it!"  But by Sunday I was starting to feel run down.  "I'm just tired from all the late days,"  I thought.  But I downed some Emergen-C just in case.  By Monday, 7 days since the Incident, I had a slight cough and runny nose, but it was going nowhere. I persevered through the staff meeting.  I thought, "I have such a strong immune system!"  By Tuesday afternoon, I ditched the after lunch meeting to go home and rest.  "I'll be so much better tomorrow,"  I thought.  Hahahahaha...that is so funny...

I had to take the next day off.  I was losing the battle with the mighty army of germs that invaded my body over a week ago.  But I managed to get out of bed Thursday morning.  Must. Get. To. Work. They. Can't. Live. Without. Me. and when did I get hit by a truck?  Two days later I would find out that I had pneumonia.  I lost the battle, but I would not lose the war, as I had been given antibiotics and as it turned out, I used 5 sick days on actually being sick.  Go figure.  That'll teach me to be so high and mighty about my "strong" immune system.

The very day I came back to work the first thing I had the kids do was get out those Clorox wipes and clean.  Then they had to get a "baby wipe" (no, they DON'T smell like poop, as the kids would have me believe) to clean the chemicals and dirt (did I mention kids have dirty hands?) off their hands.  They also had to endure yet another lesson on how to cough and/or sneeze.  I made them practice over and over.  By about the 20th time, there was severe eye rolling.  I didn't care.

Here are some helpful hints for anyone who volunteers (angels) and/or anyone who otherwise finds themselves surrounded by germ factories:

1.  Wash your hands once an hour and every time you use the restroom and before you eat.
2.  Never (I mean NEVER) touch your face. 
3.  Avoid using the same pencils/markers/crayons/erasers, etc. the kids use.  Have your own.
4.  NEVER open a leaky lunchbox.  You just don't know. 
5.  The same goes for leaky backpacks (or anything leaking).
6.  Eat healthy and get plenty of rest (I go to bed around 8:45. No, I'm not 7).

You think I'm paranoid.  But not really.  If we knew how much bacteria exists in the average elementary classroom, nobody would enter, and I go there everyday and live to tell about it.  I was forced to spend 5 days, 24 hours a day, in bed or on the couch.  Getting up to go the bathroom or get something to eat exhausted me.  There is only so much tv one can watch.  I read 3 whole books, played "Every Word" on my Kindle til my eyes crossed,  and took lots of naps.  I almost finished Season 4 of Rescue Me, compliments of Netflix Instant Play (it's awesome). 

It's been a week plus since I felt well enough to return to the germ factories and am very happy to say that I really missed them!!  They missed me, too.  Aww...