I've been working really hard with a tough girl in my class who acts like a bully. I believe, as always, that I must get her to change her ways before she leaves my class and goes on to the next teacher, or else I've failed.
I'll call her Melissa. She's friends with Aly, although I don't know why Aly wants to be her friend so badly, as Melissa is rarely nice to her. Such tangled webs we weave...even at such a young age.
Melissa frequently has a frown on her face. Her dark brown hair is not brushed, but not tangled either. It just won't stay. She's small in stature with dark brown eyes that give away her mood at first glance. When she smiles, though, I'm reminded that she is just a little girl, trying to find her way like all the rest of them.
One day, as she walked out of the room to go to recess, I reminded her to be kind. She and I have had numerous conversations about how to be a good friend and I've listened to her complaining about everyone else and how nothing is her fault. I often feel like I'm wasting my breath but I can't give up, right?
The first morning recess, Melissa walked back to line smiling and chatting with another student. I inwardly gave myself a high-five. Something is getting through...ahhh, I'm so awesome. We went in to do our math lesson. Melissa continued to look like she was trying and her eyes told me she was open to new possibilities. This was turning out to be a good day.
When I went to pick the kids up from lunch, though, she was in line sulking angrily. When I asked what was the matter, she wouldn't tell me. Sometimes I let it go, but this time was different, as something obviously really bothered her, and oh, Aly is also sulking. Hmmm...
I got the two to my desk and asked what happened. Melissa vehemently stated that Aly is LIAR! Aly just looked at me. I hate these accusations. I resort to all kinds of tricks to get the truth, not really knowing if I ever get it. I tell them I have eyes in the back of my head (but you can't see them because I have hair). I tell them that adults can tell when a kid is not being truthful because they can see the sparks coming out of their eyes. Kids can't see the sparks because their eyes are not fully developed yet. The funny thing is, they believe me. The best one of all, though, is to ask a question and just sit there with my mouth shut. I'm great at standoffs.
So that's what I did. Eventually one of them would fess up. And eventually one did.
Melissa restated her complaint, "Aly is a liar!"
Me, "Why? What did she say?"
Melissa crossed her arms and got quiet, frowny face.
So I did the same.
Aly, "I did not!"
Melissa, "Yes you did!"
Me, "Melissa, I can't help you if you don't tell me what the problem is, why do you say she's a liar?" Classic. And oh, namecalling.
Melissa thought about it, "She said Justin Bieber is her brother!"
I about choked on my laugh reflex and I think I coughed so as not to belittle her very serious accusation.
Aly, "Na uhhh, I said I was glad he's not my brother!"
Melissa, "That is not what you said, you said Justin Bieber is your brother." Now I have two liars lying to me.
What I wanted to do was ask why she's glad Justin Bieber isn't her brother..I mean, these things are the stuff of great blogs about first graders. But there was a teachable moment here, so I snatched it and talked to Melissa about choosing her battles and to Aly about making up stories to get people to like her.
The girls made up and will live again to argue another day.
I'll call her Melissa. She's friends with Aly, although I don't know why Aly wants to be her friend so badly, as Melissa is rarely nice to her. Such tangled webs we weave...even at such a young age.
Melissa frequently has a frown on her face. Her dark brown hair is not brushed, but not tangled either. It just won't stay. She's small in stature with dark brown eyes that give away her mood at first glance. When she smiles, though, I'm reminded that she is just a little girl, trying to find her way like all the rest of them.
One day, as she walked out of the room to go to recess, I reminded her to be kind. She and I have had numerous conversations about how to be a good friend and I've listened to her complaining about everyone else and how nothing is her fault. I often feel like I'm wasting my breath but I can't give up, right?
The first morning recess, Melissa walked back to line smiling and chatting with another student. I inwardly gave myself a high-five. Something is getting through...ahhh, I'm so awesome. We went in to do our math lesson. Melissa continued to look like she was trying and her eyes told me she was open to new possibilities. This was turning out to be a good day.
When I went to pick the kids up from lunch, though, she was in line sulking angrily. When I asked what was the matter, she wouldn't tell me. Sometimes I let it go, but this time was different, as something obviously really bothered her, and oh, Aly is also sulking. Hmmm...
I got the two to my desk and asked what happened. Melissa vehemently stated that Aly is LIAR! Aly just looked at me. I hate these accusations. I resort to all kinds of tricks to get the truth, not really knowing if I ever get it. I tell them I have eyes in the back of my head (but you can't see them because I have hair). I tell them that adults can tell when a kid is not being truthful because they can see the sparks coming out of their eyes. Kids can't see the sparks because their eyes are not fully developed yet. The funny thing is, they believe me. The best one of all, though, is to ask a question and just sit there with my mouth shut. I'm great at standoffs.
So that's what I did. Eventually one of them would fess up. And eventually one did.
Melissa restated her complaint, "Aly is a liar!"
Me, "Why? What did she say?"
Melissa crossed her arms and got quiet, frowny face.
So I did the same.
Aly, "I did not!"
Melissa, "Yes you did!"
Me, "Melissa, I can't help you if you don't tell me what the problem is, why do you say she's a liar?" Classic. And oh, namecalling.
Melissa thought about it, "She said Justin Bieber is her brother!"
I about choked on my laugh reflex and I think I coughed so as not to belittle her very serious accusation.
Aly, "Na uhhh, I said I was glad he's not my brother!"
Melissa, "That is not what you said, you said Justin Bieber is your brother." Now I have two liars lying to me.
What I wanted to do was ask why she's glad Justin Bieber isn't her brother..I mean, these things are the stuff of great blogs about first graders. But there was a teachable moment here, so I snatched it and talked to Melissa about choosing her battles and to Aly about making up stories to get people to like her.
The girls made up and will live again to argue another day.
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